This is me

Our society welcomes you with open arms. You will be judged on what you wear, which music you listen to,what you look like, how you act, who you hang out with, and on practically every other personal trait and imperfection about you, and you'll be made fun of for being who you are. Its hard to enjoy your stay, i know. My name is Angelica Benigno. Im sixteen years old and I am from Chicago Illinois. I like whats left simple. I like music and laughing. Not popularity and fashion. I speak the truth, Im not a bitch. Im going to confront somebody if i feel strongly about something, even if it is easier to sit back. Im the farthest thing from cocky you will ever meet. My insecurites could eat me alive. I do my own thing, I always have. No matter what anybody tells me. Its my life and im young, I figure THIS is the time to fuck up. And you can call me a "Wanna be stoner" a "Loser" or whatever you want. But just remember you know my name, not my story. I might have been a hater for a while, But only for hating myself. Judging somebody is wrong in so many ways. Especially if it is something they can't change or take back. You're the one who has to die when it's your time to die. So live life how you want to and let others do the same. My blog is how i express myself and if u dont like it, just leave now. Ive been through things just like everyone else. I know how cold the world can be. & i especially know how heartless people can be. I know im not perfect, Im not even close. My hair doesnt stay in place, I spill a lot of things and Im clumsy. I've fucked up too many times to count. But after everything, i have accepted that i like being "imperfect". My intentions have never been to make someone feel like shit. But ive tried to get even with the people who have done it to me. I know its still wrong, Fire and fire don't mix well. Ive learned from my mistakes. Even if it took a few tries. Life is precious these days. Lives are coming and going. So nobody should "Try" to be perfect. Because in the end, You will end up disappointed. Trust me, Ive tried. Iv'e gone too far without even knowing it. Ive hurt people around me by hurting myself. I know what its like to feel like you're alone. How it hurts to smile. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. By harming yourself to relieve stress in a dangerous way. I've tried to "escape" or "avoid" problems that lay in front of me. The solutions i tried only made things worse. And of course "It makes you stronger", But its still hard to go through. And nobody deserves to go through it. You feel like you are traped. It helps to remember that God will never hand you something that you can't handle. And he will never take something from you without the intention of replacing it with something better. Running away from your problems is a race you’ll never win. I know what it feels like to feel like nobody is listening or nobody cares. But somebody is always listening. You're never alone. The world can feel like hell sometimes, But i've seen the beauty in it too. You have to push to see that beauty if you havent seen it yet. See it in yourself, everyone is born beautiful. See it when a new life is created, when a baby is born. See it when you notice how pretty nature is, and how at peace it can put you. See it in music, When you find that song that totally understands you. See it when you fall in love, when you find that one person who was made special for you. Life is a beautiful thing no matter how cold it is sometimes. So please stop hating on yourself, Especially girls. Stop putting each other down, stop calling each other sluts, hoes and whores. Stop calling each other ugly and fat. Call each other beautiful and amazing. Stop hating yourself. The cutting, the suicidal thoughts, the depression. There is too much of it, and half of it starts from people telling you you're ugly. One single word can turn a girls day into a fucking nightmare. ONE WORD. Ugly, fat, wannabe, whore, slut, bitch, annoying, loser, one. word. Boys too. Don't call somebody a fag for not being a "guys guy". One text, one Facebook message, one anon on Formspring. One anything, can be the trigger to death. So many suicides happened this year. So many people who sadly couldn't make it to 2012. All because of what seems like the smallest thing. Jessica Yore, She was a beautiful girl. Full of life and happiness. Until her golden heart stopped beating because people couldn't watch what they said. Then i realized she covered up her pain with a smile, which i know for a fact is not hard to do. She was called a whore for being beautiful. For not fitting in with who she went to school with. She had a long life to live. A beautiful one that she will no longer be able to see. So watch what you say and take into consideration how it can effect someone. Remember that cutting someone down or pointing out their flaws can damage someone in more ways than you can imagine. No one truly knows how another is feeling inside. Sometimes they aren’t as strong as you think they are and it hurts them to the core. Words can truely kill. Avoid the people who don't care about how you feel. Keep your head high and your middle finger higher to those people. You are not a waste. People are going to hate on you. Maybe for their own insecurities. Or maybe because they genuinly don't care or realize what they are doing. But regardless, those people exist in this world. You eat, you’re fat. You don’t eat, you’re a freak. You drink, you’re an alcoholic. You don’t drink, you’re a pussy. You read, you’re a nerd. You don’t read, you’re stupid. You tell a secret, you’re an attention seeker. You don’t tell a secret, you’re still attention seeking. You let someone in, you’re easy. You don’t let someone in, you’re too uptight. You smoke, you think you’re cool. you don’t smoke, you’re a loser. You’ve had sex, you’re a slut. You haven’t had sex, you’re a frigid little bitch. You wear make up, you’re superficial. You don’t wear make up, you’re ugly. You can’t please anyone. Ever. They will put you down, Make you feel like you arn't good enough, and make you feel like you should'nt be here. Thats why it is your responsibility to surround yourself with people you are blessed to have in your life. People who make you happy. The ones who don't care about what the past is and loves you for YOU. Trust me they exist. It makes things easier. It takes a little to realize though. It takes a little looking around and getting to know. Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a game, play it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is too precious, Do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it. Because when you wake up in the morning, Place your hand on your heart. Feel that? Thats called a REASON. Don't give it up. Just know this isn't for seeking attention, im not that open of a person. This is for the girls/guys going through a rough time in this crazy world. So you can see that their are people out there who get it and have overcome it. When you're young, everything feels like the end of the world. But its not, it's just the beginning. Don't let it break you. No matter how hard things get, life goes on. Read my story and make a difference for yourself. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Life is too short. This is not only for you, but for other people too. Make someones day, You might even end up saving a life.